If This Is The End
by Elliewelly1
Summary: Oneshot! Set during the crash in series 4!   "She had always tried to make him happy. Didn't he notice that? She was always there for him. Always."


_If this is the end. _

"_Numbing the pain for a while will only make it worse when you finally feel it."  
- Albus Dumbledore._

**Set during the crash in S4EP8.**

She always watched him. At any time. Whether it was when they were down working in the animal hospital, or eating dinner. She even watched him as he emerged out of his room in the morning and she was sat at the table eating breakfast- as usual- even though he'd only just woke and had bed hair and those green eyes of his were half-lidded with sleep, she still found him extraordinarily handsome. Maybe to other people he was not- the freaks. Yes, she had just got so harsh over whether people would find him handsome or not. Because, Danny Trevanion was so bloody handsome to her that it was unreal, really. Sometimes, when she was alone, she would pinch herself to make sure that he wasn't some illusion and that this was all a dream. Because, life here, well it was perfect- well, not perfect exactly. There were a few down sides to life here, like it being completely manic. Though that was just Leopards Den, really. Also, they were very remote here, but she didn't mind that, really, everyone she needed was here, at Leopards Den, especially Danny. Oh, and another thing she really, really, really, _really, _didn't like with Leopards Den, was the fact that they were neighbours with Mara. And, that meant seeing Vanessa.

It meant seeing with Vanessa literally everyday, seeing her with Danny. It meant seeing him running off to 'help her' with something that was going wrong at Mara. It meant seeing him look at her _like that. _It meant seeing everything she wanted, right in front of her, but everything that she could never have. It meant seeing how happy Danny seemed to be with Vanessa, in a way she had never seen him be with her. It meant knowing that he was happy and she was not. It meant knowing that she was fine about that, really, she was. Of course, it bloody hurt, really, it did. But he was she loved him enough to want that for him.

At first, she hadn't thought that anything was going on. She had been explained that situation about him losing Sarah just the year before by Dupe one night. She had been told the story of how much Danny adored Sarah, how much he loved her, even running in the fire after her. How he had literally broken down, even wanting to move back to England- where he didn't belong- because he had lost Sarah here.

So she could hardly imagine that Danny had moved on from such a woman that must have… well, she must have been amazing. Danny didn't just adore anyone.

But then she overhead him telling Dupe that Vanessa had kissed him.

Didn't he hear the sound of her heart breaking? Not just a simple 'crack' as it split into two. No, it was a million sounds of shattered pieces falling, a loud 'SMASH'. She heard it. She felt it. It hit her like a tonne of bricks. How could he not tell? How could he not see? She had always waited for him, in the shadows, there to comfort him whenever he needed and to try and make him smile when he was down. She had always tried to make him happy. Didn't he notice that? She was always there for him. Always.

But no, he didn't notice. He didn't notice how much that she did for him, how much he meant to her and he didn't notice how much it truly broke her to hear those words. _'Vanessa kissed me.' _It was like dying. It was as if he had slowly spooned out her insides, leaving her hollow, empty. It was as if he had personally cut her open and taken out her heart, slowly tearing it into a million little pieces it, shredding it whilst wearing that gorgeous smile of his on his face, and stepping all over her heart. While she just watched helplessly and still being completely in love with him, even after all he had put her through… So much pain…

Though she knew he didn't do it intentionally. Danny would never hurt a fly. Let alone her. Of course, Alice didn't think she was anything special to Danny, not anymore, but they were friends. Good friends. So she supposed that she did mean something to Danny, even if he only liked her in a family knew she shouldn't stay angry at him. Pushing him away like she had. Punishing him for something he wasn't aware had hurt her. He hadn't even told her that Vanessa had kissed him, anyway, she had accidentally overheard. So he really would have no idea what he had done to hurt her. Well, she didn't think that he knew that he had hurt her. No, Danny wasn't exactly the brightest when it came to peoples feelings, but still…

She wondered how Vanessa felt when Danny looked at her. Did she have to fight the urge to smile like a Cheshire cat? She wondered how Vanessa felt when Danny enveloped her in those long, lanky arms of his. Did she get that deep tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach? She wondered what it was like to be loved by Danny. She knew what it was like to love but not to be loved in return- but to love and be loved in return? She would never know.

And she would never be able to explain how much that hurt.

But now she regretted pushing him away, and she regretted never telling him how she felt about him, because maybe she might have had a chance. But there was no hope now.

The lightning struck the tree as fast as, well, lighting! She screamed and held her hands in front of her face as the tree collided with the glass, smashing it into a million little pieces that went flying in all directions, a few grazing and cutting her hands. But she didn't care about the physical pain. It was the emotional pain. All the things that she had never told Danny, and all the things that she never would. Because how could they not die in this situation?

A few tears leaked Alice's eyes as they crashed. But, just before the tree fully lodged itself through the windscreen, Alice reached out and grabbed Danny's hand. _If this is the end now, Danny, if I die, I want to die holding you… _

**A/N: These oneshots keep popping into my head. Which is another reason to why I can't write properly, 'cause I'm finding it hard to concentrate on one story: ) Okay, the space between the updates hasn't been that bad this time since I'm sure I updated I'm Just Like You a few days ago, but I'm not sure whether I'll ever get back into the pattern of updating everyday: / Which actually sucks.I know there's no storyline to this, and it's actually just thoughts. But I couldn't resist.**


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